Easter

It's Easter, and I couldn't be happier!

This was my Facebook post this morning:

1 hr · 

Happy (Easter*) Sunday from West Haven, CT! The S(u/o)n is rising... smile emoticon

*for those who celebrate

At 6:15, I set out for Bradley Point, which is about 15 minutes south of New Haven.  I stumbled upon a sunrise service and stood as a participant for a bit, watching the sun break through the morning fog. It was cold, but I was glad to be out.

Holy Week has been very meaningful and rather emotional for me.  For Holy Thursday, I was up in Maine on a personal retreat.  I stayed at a monastery and got to do Mass with Lithuanian Franciscans, followed by Adoration (until midnight--but I only lasted until 10:15).

For Good Friday, I was back in New Haven, at my home church.  I was asked to do a Scripture Reading, and I did so with joy.

Last night was the Easter Vigil at Bethesda Lutheran Church, where I currently live.  It was absolutely wonderful!  One of the oldest Christian traditions/rites, it gives Holy Saturday a meaning that Evangelicals often gloss over.

My soteriology has expanded lately.  A friend mentioned the book, A Crisis in the Life of God.  I haven't read it yet, but I according to my friend, it suggests that Jesus was sent to atone not for human sins, but as God's apology to humankind.  

In the same conversation, another friend mentioned Process Theology, which posits that God is learning and developing along with creation.  Thus, we co-create the narrative with God.  I would be very interested to learn more about this!

Even as my academic interests have broadened to accept and accommodate ideas that some might label heretical, my personal relationship with Jesus has only grown deeper.  This might seem like a paradox, but for me, it's a dialectic.

During Holy Week, I wrestled with reaching a new level of surrender in my life.  I can't say I'm there yet, but Easter Sunday certainly feels much more triumphant than Good Friday did.  Jesus, I'm yours, and I'm going to follow you wherever you lead me.  Give me the grace to do so--and thank you for what you have done and are continuing to do!

Blues

I went blues dancing tonight, and it put me on cloud nine.

Christians might differ on their opinions and convictions about the sensual nature of the dance, but at the end of the day (rather, the night!), blues is just about humans connecting to one another through music and nonverbal communication.  We all need to feel connected on deep and intimate levels, and blues dancing offers that in a safe and musical way.  Oxytocin is an important part of being healthy human beings, and on dance nights such as tonight, I care more about being a full human than a good Christian.

I love it and have found peace and joy through it.  My spiritual life has soared because of it.  And I am able to give and receive love more deeply than I ever thought was possible.

Jesus gave me the ability to express myself through dance, and I wouldn't give it up for the world.

At Yale Swing & Blues, all are welcome.  Anyone can dance with anyone, and traditional gender norms give way to humans just being humans together.  There are no rules about men being the leads or only dancing with women--the point is to create a beautiful dance together, with permission and consent.  (Dances often start off with: "Do you want to lead or follow?  Is close embrace ok?  Can I dip you?")  The most beautiful thing is to see two straight men interacting with each other on the dance floor, giving and receiving creatively and responsively--sometimes, quite goofily.  Some of my funnest dances have been with my girl friends.

And then there are the dances that could keep your heart filled for ages.  A dance like that comes by every 2-3 years.  My last magical dance was in December of 2013, back in LA.  And I got another one tonight, with a guy named Daniel who looks like Justin Timberlake.

He was exceptionally generous in his dancing tonight, focusing not only on his own moves but also on how they interacted with my bodily responses.  There is something amazing about feeling so safe with a lead that you close your eyes and let your body go with the flow.  Lord, I give up control, I often pray in real life.  And on the dance floor, I see how doing in the hands of a good lead makes magic happen.

I am one happy lady tonight.  My housemate Jon told me I was glowing.  I may be 30 and still single, but I'm going to live like there's no tomorrow and express all of who I am when I can.  Blues dancing helps me to do that, and I'm grateful.

My day started out rough, but all's well that ends well.  Thank you for the dance, Lord.  Good night!