But Seriously...

Classes started today, and I settled right back into seeing friends at school, giving and receiving hugs, and laughing heartily in a spirit of camaraderie.

But already, I sense a more serious undertone to this second semester at Yale Divinity School, and this is due to a few things, I suppose.

First: I already have a semester under my belt.  I'm no longer elated simply because I'm back in school again.  This is my new reality, and I want to go somewhere with it.

Second: last semester awakened me to new possibilities and interests.  Along with wholeheartedly embracing my newfound community here, I also dared to envision my future with my mind and spirit.

Third: I think I'm going to be taking some very good courses this semester, taught by some very good professors.  And it just so happens that all the classes I'm choosing to take are taught by individuals of color, women, or both!

Fourth: I feel as if this is the semester where I discover whether I'm "cut out" for certain things in which I suspect I have an interest--but am not sure.  So I need to take the reading seriously and let the material sink in deeply.  How the material engages with the way I'm wired just might indicate where my path might lead after graduation.

So, to remind myself of this, I've put a magnet up on my refrigerator, a magnet which I purchased back in the summer but did not bring with me to New Haven until this most recent trip back from winter break.  Now, it seems to be just the right message at just the right time:

New Year's Resolution?

This year, actually, I do have a goal that is not only pretty tangible, but also possibly achievable!

And what might that goal be?

Contrary to what many people might need to resolve, my goal is to spend more time on my phone!

You see, I'm kind of scared of technology.  Always have been.  So I use my phone's most basic functions, and since I've always had kind of old phones, it was probably better that way.

But as of about 9 days ago, I've upgraded to a rather newfangled thing whose screen is bright and shiny and whose functions probably exceed mine.  And I'd like to get to know this thing and not waste this precious gift that my dad got at a work conference and gave to me (my old phone was starting to have issues even making basic phone calls).

I've decided to take it easy but to keep at it.  Explore apps.  Play around.  And yes: spend more time on my phone, because technology can be my friend, if only I will let it!

Outgoing ≠ Extrovert

I saw this article on Facebook the other day, and it made a lot of sense (although some of the language is a bit strong).  Most of my friends know I'm an introvert because I bring it up frequently, but perhaps if I didn't say, I might get by posing as an extrovert.  Call it being a relational introvert who has outgoing qualities and the personal warmth of a Southern Californian, which I think might stand out in a Divinity School in New England more than in other environments.  :)

Even though I don't "present" as so much of an outgoing person in SoCal, I think it still factors into my social life.  One day during my winter break visit, I scheduled 5 back-to-back appointments with people.  Each meet-up was pleasant and good, but when I got home, my body felt wound up and stressed and I almost felt like crying.  What a blessing that people like spending time with me, but what an unfortunate thing that I only have so much to give!  If I weren't such a relational being, I probably would not maintain as many friendships as I do.  But I do value people, and I'll always live with the tension of wanting space to myself and understanding the importance of connecting.  Yes, I'm outgoing, but I'm not quite an extrovert.  And I'm glad that the distinction exists, because it allows me to call myself an outgoing introvert :)

Gearing Up

I started getting back into my New Haven frame of mind yesterday, by trying to get ahead on some applications for summer stuff.  My body has been less relaxed since then, I notice, and only now do I realize just how much pressure I have been under as a student.  Last semester I decided that student life was less stressful than the working world, because nobody's happiness or life circumstances depended upon my performance.  I was in charge of my own schedule, and I wasn't constantly giving emotionally to clients.  Still, I was being challenged in lots of other ways, and there was a good amount of (healthy) pressure.  I guess in my head, stress and pressure are slightly different things.

Anyways, once I got home and started winter break, I let my body and mind relax, and I made up for a lot of lost sleep.  It was really nice to sleep and live in a stress-free environment, with no one to see for a whole week!  (I had to write one final paper, but that was not too bad).  Then, I began to catch up with friends, and that was nice.  The weather was warm, and I enjoyed life away from New Haven.  I've gotten into such a leisurely pace of life now that it's hard to imagine that next week I'll be starting a new semester!  I'm sure once I arrive back at Yale, I'll be ready to dive in again.  But right now, I'm feeling quite anxious about it all--and a little incredulous at how well I handled the pressure last semester.

An encouraging reminder is that I didn't do it on my own strength, and there's no way I'll be able to start relying on myself in the future.  I did many things through Him that strengthened me, and I plan to do the same this coming year.  That way I stay humble, and I stay connected to Him upon whom I depend :)

Round Two

I can't believe I'm starting my second year on this thing.  I had thought about stopping after my 60th post, and New-Years-resolving to write LESS about myself.  But it seems that I've found myself back on this site already, not 2 days after the start of 2015...

Still, I'd like to start afresh with this blogging thing, by establishing a few things, which might hopefully help shape the readership and expectations for my posts:

1. I'm an Idealist (INFP), which means that I'm obsessed with my own Identity--and that I relate to my world in light of who I believe myself to be.
2. I'm an Introvert, which means I tend to favor introverted ways of relating to the world and feel stretched, challenged, and occasionally frustrated by extroversion.
3. I'm a Feeler, which means that even though my brain can work well, and I am capable of thinking logically and rationally, I honor Feelings above thoughts.
4. I'm Intuitive, which means I pay more attention to how things are underneath the surface than to my five senses and factual details.

So, if you find yourself resonating with any of the above statements, then perhaps you wouldn't mind stopping in every once in awhile to read my posts.  And if you don't, you're still welcome to stop by :)