Staying Grounded

The day after I got into Harvard Divinity School, I locked myself out of the house for a whole afternoon.  2 days after I got into Yale Divinity School, I took the wrong luggage from the overhead bin in an airplane and didn't even notice until American Airlines called.

I think the Divine is trying to remind me to stay humble.  I have received these amazing opportunities because He saw it fit.  I may have "earned" this in some respects, but I definitely don't deserve it.

I've been trying to stay grounded this month with this verse from John 15:

Without Him, I truly could not do anything.  The only way I am of any good is if I stay grounded in His presence.  Anything good that comes from me has its source in Him, and that is so comforting to know.

Because I realize that it is with God's help and not my own strength that I have been offered opportunities to attend prestigious schools, I have been hesitant to jump to a decision.  It's come down to choosing between Emory and Yale, and I'm reluctant to commit to Yale.

I really fell in love with Emory's Candler School of Theology when I visited a few weeks ago.  Let's just say that Southern Charm works!  I could really see myself there, and I could envision all the warm and wonderful relationships I would build with faculty and staff.  Never before had I felt as welcomed and cared for by Academia as I did when I was at Candler.  I really want to go.

On the other hand, Yale is giving me the opportunity of a lifetime.  And on many levels, especially considering what I'd like to do long-term, it makes more sense to go there.  I haven't been able to visit, and I won't before making my decision.  I need to do this by faith and not by sight.

Hopefully the fact that I've been so torn between these 2 choices is indicative of the fact that my heart is in the right place.  That I'm not chasing after a brand name or an Ivy League education.  I'm truly trying to figure out what the best fit is, and where I can both grow and contribute.

Yale has been my dream school for quite a while, but now that my dream is coming true, I'm realizing that it's no longer my dream.  My dream has been subsumed and consumed by His calling.  And it's been a 12-year process.  Time and time again I have surrendered my heart's desires to my Lord.  Yale was one of those desires.  When I started my applications to Divinity school, I asked Him for permission to apply there, knowing that I did not want my dream to turn into an idol.

He has been so faithful.  He has kept me grounded, and He is continuing to keep me humble.  I am beyond blessed to have the opportunity to attend my dream school.  But far more amazing is the fact that I am one of the branches on the Vine that gives life and allows me to bear fruit.  May I continue learning to abide in Him, knowing that apart from Him, I can do nothing.