Friends, Family, Community

They say that you choose your friends but not your family, and that is why I think many of my Divinity School peers as sisters first and girlfriends second.  We became friends because we were all part of the Divinity School family.  Time will tell if we remain good girlfriends.

I remember saying to several different people last year that it usually takes me 2 years before I know whether or not someone is a friend--a true friend, the kind you keep in touch with even after parting ways.  Until then, I may share a community with people here because we have class together or live together.  But that is not so much my choice as the situation in which we find ourselves.

It will be interesting to see who I consider a stay-in-touch friend come graduation.  In the meantime, classmates are like family because we're stuck in the same environment and share so much life together.

So, that means that I must learn to keep loving them in spite of their faults and mine.  It means that they may not meet my needs, even as they come to me to get their needs met.  (Or the reverse.) It means that we must accept one another for who we are, our varying stages in life, and our emotional and intellectual development.  It means that even as I am culturally isolated at Yale Divinity School (there is not one single person from Taiwan here, and most Chinese-speaking students were born in Asia rather than the U.S.), I have a spiritual family with whom I have only a few more months to spend.

In the "real world," I would never have had the opportunity to become so close with this diverse a group of friends.  I'm going to miss that.

In the "real world," friends are more scattered and not just a few miles or blocks away.  I'm going to miss that.

In the "real world," we would not be forced to coexist in such close proximity, and to learn to listen and talk across differences.

I have to admit that it takes humility for me to accept as equals people who are much younger than I am and often don't act as if they appreciate my age or experience.  It takes courage for me to speak honestly with people who come from much more privilege and status.  But there is grace for us all, and I pray grace for this coming semester.  It starts tomorrow!