I heard a beautiful sermon this morning on Peter's denial of Jesus--and how we often do so in big and small ways on a daily basis. My Scripture reading for the day included the part when the Israelites must look upon the bronze snake in order to be healed in the wilderness. There is something in human nature that does not want to look upon suffering (Jesus on the cross, as foreshadowed by the bronze snake) and that is ashamed of the Gospel. (This is why Paul had to state explicitly in Romans that he is not ashamed by the Gospel.)
My Enneagram (personality) type is afraid of weakness. I have been learning about this through my vocational spiritual direction, and this past Thursday, I got to be a part of a panel of other Enneagram 8s at a Vineyard church about 40 minutes north of Boston. It was a relief to hear other people share about their struggle with vulnerability and how they were always in a fighting mode against the world and powers of injustice. We are powerful people who are aware of power dynamics, and we hold the corner of the Body of Christ that involves boldness and truth-speaking and challenging corrupt authority. These are all qualities Jesus (and His disciples) embodied in the New Testament.
But we struggle with the part of the Gospel that depends upon a suffering Savior, the Man of sorrows, and the shame of the Cross. During Lent, I have been trying to strip away my defense mechanisms and to be more honest in a vulnerable (rather than a militant or critical) way. May I learn from Jesus, the One who had nothing to hide and the One who ushered in the Kingdom of God through the power of God rather than His own strength. Amen.
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