Process

Process Theology is an integrative way of looking at the world that is quite compatible with non-Western thought.  It is the hallmark of Claremont School of Theology, where I am currently pursuing a doctorate.  It is the only kind of theology I have not been "allergic to"--probably because it has not been colonized by Enlightenment-influenced worldviews.

Process Theology "works" in a way that much of what we learn in church does not.  Some of my close friends who have left Christianity did so with the utmost integrity and sincerity.  It takes more courage to leave religion than to stay, sometimes, and those who remain are not always more faithful, but rather more fearful (of the unknown, of stepping outside their comfort zone).

I've been wanting to leave Christianity ever since I was 15.  Somehow, I have not managed to succeed.  Something always pulls me back.  But that is not to say that I completely understand and respect those who do leave--especially when Christianity (as they know it) is more damaging than life-giving for their mental health.  (The fancy terms for this are "pathogenic" and "salugenic.")

At this point, Process Theology is a helpful filter through which to process my own experiences around God, Christianity, pastors, the church, and community.  Each phase of acute suffering in my life has shifted and expanded my view of my faith.  In the most recent chapter, I nearly lost hope, and I'm hanging on by a thinner thread than ever before.

Thankfully, seminary, both past and present, offers good company for critical-thinking and meaning-seeking individuals like me.  In the classroom, one can ask the hard questions that scare church leadership.  One can criticize unsound doctrine while expressing appreciation for the mystery of faith that much of American Christianity has turned into a commodified cultural expression of Capitalism.
I am very much in process, and that is what keeps me going.