Growing up, all I wanted was to get married young, have 4 kids, and homeschool them. It seems that God had other plans for my life. There have been amazing blessings, and there have been disappointing experiences. A few cherished dreams have died excruciating deaths.
Recently, the one and only blind date I've ever gone on proposed to the woman of his dreams, and I rejoiced. As I blessed them from the bottom of my heart, I thought back to 2 years ago, around this time in May, when his aunt called me out of the blue and asked if I'd be interested in being introduced. Having just ended a near-engagement (one of the "excruciating deaths" mentioned), I politely thanked her but said I wasn't looking for a relationship at the moment. Somehow that was misinterpreted, and the next thing I knew, I received an email introduction and was scheduling a time to meet up with this nephew.
The date was wonderful. He treated me to lunch like a gentleman and asked lots of good questions. Being six years older, he had gentle confidence and was not out to waste my time. I truly enjoyed talking about family backgrounds, spiritual testimonies, and life interests/experiences. At the end of the first date, I knew that I had had a wonderful time but that I would probably only view this guy as a friend and nothing more. But I was open to giving it a second try.
So when he texted a while later, I acquiesced, and we met up for dessert in a more casual setting. We had another great conversation, and I felt like I could completely be myself around him. When the date was over, I felt a little sad that I would probably not say "yes" to a third date, as I was certain that I would not be interested in anything beyond a friendship.
Luckily for me, it seemed that this guy felt the same way, and the invitation to a third date never came. Two good dates, no hard feelings. What a blessing!
Two years later, he is getting married to a lovely lady, and I am happily single.
In yesterday's post, I mentioned that I've started reading blogs again, and today's blogs were by women who love their husbands (and kids, if they have 'em) but are adamant about women in the church seeing themselves as more than just wives and mothers. God has a place for women in the Church, and (to butcher a summary of their posts) Jesus is the reason we can be feminist. Technology and social media open up so much room for stay-at-home moms to live out their passions, I thought to myself. Some of these women write really well, and some of them have made quite a name for themselves through their blogging.
As for me, I would still love to get married and have kids someday, but I am also more than content with my status. I have experienced a kind of Love that transcends what any human could ever give me, and I'll even confess that sometimes I'm reluctant to desire marriage because I'm afraid that marital love will be disappointingly lame compared to what I've experienced from the Divine.
"But I am not going to give every detail. Some things lose their fragrance when opened to the air, and there are stirrings of the soul which cannot be put into words without destroying their delicacy"
~Saint Therese of Lisieux, in "The Story of the Soul"
~Saint Therese of Lisieux, in "The Story of the Soul"
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