Introvert Heaven

Coming from Los Angeles to New Haven can be likened to the ascent from purgatory into heaven.

Finally, I am surrounded by introverts who give me space!

Living in Los Angeles can be so draining for an introvert.  Everyone is so friendly and loves hanging out at all hours.  But when I'm there, I feel guilty for not being more social, and my defenses are often up.

"Hey, are you doing anything tonight?" a text reads.

Unless I'm feeling especially spontaneous or social, I will tend to reply: "Hmmm….I kind of made plans already...." (with myself--I have this wonderful book that I'd like to read tonight).

Generally, I'm still more accustomed to making advance plans, at least 24 hours before something happens.

Call me cold and heartless, but that's how I roll.

Imagine my relief when I found that people at Yale are courteous but not especially friendly (yes!  people are finally giving me space!  haha, in fact, a little too much space, perhaps?).  The friends I have made are content to only text me very occasionally or chat with me only if they run into me on campus.  (Have I ever mentioned how much I hate it when someone wants to have a full-on conversation with me over text?  Talk to me in person, or send me a long email.  It's super draining to have to keep texting you back!)

Perhaps because my defenses are finally down now that I'm in New Haven, I've become more susceptible to the few instances when people do intrude on my space.  And I've become even more aware of how much of a proud introvert I am.  (I know--that sentence can be construed in more than one way.  Feel free to interpret it however you wish.)  When someone like me approaches introvert heaven, the purgatory that took so long to escape appears all the more terrible.  Cigarette smoke is more offensive in the Swiss Alps than in New York City, right?

I'm sorry.  I sound so mean.  Extroverts are wonderful people.  And the world would not be the same without them.  But right now, for the first time in my life, my modus operandus is the social norm, and I don't constantly have to worry about engaging with a social framework that rewards extroverts and pressures introverts to conform.

Divinity school is a season of my life when I can celebrate my introversion without being thought of as antisocial or strange.  I'm sure gonna enjoy it, because it ain't gonna last forever!