A Snob

I am a snob.  A condolences snob.

It occurs to me that perhaps some people find it good to feel that others understand what they are going through during a time of loss.  "I know how you feel...I've been there before..." or, "This reminds me of the time I, similar to you, had this kind of experience."  Perhaps there is a sense of solidarity in knowing that the comforter has gone through something similar.

I'm not that kind of person.

I believe that one can never fully understand what another person is going through.  Anyone who has ever read anything about bereavement knows that when someone else is going through something excruciating and difficult, there are no words you can offer.  Just sit there and listen.

During the difficult times in my life, only a few friends have known how to be an empathetic presence. They have acknowledged that my situation is unique to me, and have sought to understand ways in which my losses are particular to my person.  I am forever grateful to those friends!