Pilgrimage

We're all familiar with the trope of leaving home in order to find out who we really are.

Perhaps the fact that I've taken so many short trips away from New Haven this spring means that it's truly become home--because I've been restless to leave it.

Each trip brought about different emotional processes, and God spoke different things to me each time.  Some of it was some pretty deep wrestling.  Other experiences pointed me towards thoughts about my future and my calling.  All of it took time and money in a season of life where both were quite limited.

Was it all worth it?  Pilgrims of old spent their life savings--and sometimes the remaining years of their life after they left home--on the road, in the company of other spiritually-minded transients, in search of something deeper than the routine they knew.  Pilgrims wrote travel diaries that we--well, at least the DivSchool-kind-of-folk--still read today.

Part of me thinks that I needed to get out of New Haven to escape an atmosphere that feels quite oppressive sometimes.  A month ago, I left one difficult spiritual territory for another, arriving in San Francisco only to overhear a traumatic experience in the hotel.  The week prior, I was in D.C., where the friend I was visiting had a very uncanny encounter with an ex.  In March, during Spring Break, I had to confront my own demons while out and about, first in New York City and then in Kennebunk, Maine.  

I'm traveling again today, going home for a few days before flying back again (with parents in tow) for graduation.  As I write this post mid-air (Fly-Fi is amazing!), I am feeling absolutely exhausted.  For the first time in weeks, I can actually afford to feel tired, and my body is slowly coming off of the adrenaline it's been running on.  I can hardly believe that, for the next leg of transit--I started at 5:30 this morning, from home, Union Station, to Grand Central Station, and then to JFK--will simply involve walking out on to the Long Beach Airport curb and getting in my dad's car to go home.  It will sure feel good to just go home and not have to do anything for an afternoon--except be with my parents and eat some food.

There's travel yet to come, and I won't really be back (in New Haven ) "for good" (-ish) until June 12th, but I'm not going to think about that right now.  Right now, I'm blogging on the airplane, listening to iTunes, and ready to take a little nap again.  

Zzzzzz.....