Summer Satire

Inspired by Lady Whistledown from the Netflix series Bridgerton, I offer some musings.

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Am I the only one who sometimes thinks that married women should be the last people to offer relationship advice to the dating?  In the case of unhelpful advice, it seems that either they are blinded by relationships in which they settled, and offer advice out of their own unfulfillment, or they are happily married to the first lucky bloke to come along and know nothing of heartbreak and the loves that are not meant to last for a lifetime.  

I was once told by a woman struggling in her marriage, with regards to my boyfriend at the time: "You won't do any better than him.  Seize him now while you can."  

Perhaps her advice to me had more to do with her needs than mine, but I did wonder whether her words were more of a compliment to him or an insult to me.

Dear reader, that was 10 years ago, and that boyfriend has been settled with someone else, of whom perhaps it can be said, "You won't do any better than him."

So it turns out that my friend was right, in her own way--but only about him, and not about me.

😷

Rounds.  We finished them in 40 minutes today.  This is what happens when Dr. B runs the show.  Discharge, transfer, moving on.  Let's not mess with the flow.  After all, Friday is tomorrow and let's not fuck up our mood by getting bummed out by sick patients who may not get better.

In actuality, Dr. B is extremely personable and compassionate, and I have never met a physician with better bedside manner.  During a Code Blue, right after the patient passed away, she knelt in front of the newly widowed spouse, who had collapsed onto a chair, offering condolences.

People are simultaneously complex and simple, and people in healthcare are no different.  Dr. B is my age, and I have heard her speak with other nursing staff about the guy interested in hanging out on her days off, and her recognition that she also does not need him.

She does her job efficiently and well, the ICU staff respect her leadership.  As a short and young-looking Asian/Indian-American woman, her competency becomes her authority.  

During rounds, we speak of patients as if they are merely cases.  And when we visit them in person, we treat them as such--fully human.

So, dear reader, those 40 minutes are well-spent--and they help us know that we're doing just fine.

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A co-worker, married, told me today, that the order of happiest persons ranks thus:

1. Unmarried women

2. Married men

3. Unmarried men

4. Married women

This explains why times with my previous chaplain cohort and my group of seminary friends were the happiest in my life.  We consisted of unmarried women and married men--equal, safe, and unattached.

The relational dynamics in those groups were such that we accomplished what is usually impossible, given the society we have.  We were true teammates, and we touched the wider community deeply.

So, as I use this list to reflect on how things turned out for my ex-boyfriend and for myself, it seems that we have each found as much happiness as humans possible.  Unhelpful advice notwithstanding.