Jesus,
I've been back in New Haven for nearly a week.
My kind-eyed friend picked me up from the train station, and that was the start to our summer.
We've hung out just about every other day--
On Tuesday, we made dinner at his place and chatted for a bit. Then, folks from church came to pray with him about a potential job opportunity, and I came home for a nice walk to the park.
On Thursday, we walked around New Haven for an hour, sat on his porch swing for half an hour, and then met up with our old prayer group to bid farewell to mutual friends. For dinner we went to Moe's with four of his housemates, then watched a soccer game at an Irish pub from 9:30 onwards.
On Saturday, he picked me up and dropped me off at my spiritual director's house, then headed to a woodsy lake for a picnic and some reading. Our next activity was to water the lawn of a friend on vacation (the campus minister at Yale with whom he worked), and that took over an hour. We headed to the beach close to 4, and the weather was perfect: breezy, warm, not muggy, and not too strong of sunlight. Bradley Point Park is beautiful and faces the Long Island Sound. The tide was low, and we waded out to knee-deep water and made our way along the shore for a good while. Eventually we went to the part of the shore where people walked and roller-bladed on a cement path. A radio station played music for people to dance to, and I took a video to send to my friend Sarah in Germany.
It was past 6:30 when we returned to the car, where we decided to catch X-Men in theaters. We got ourselves on the road, got Wendy's drive-thru right off the freeway, and plopped into our seats in time for the movie.
By 10 pm we were in front of my house again, but we continued to talk until 1 am. It's not that I've never been this honest with a guy before--but it is the first time I can do so and have him be able to handle it.
Do we want marriage? we asked ourselves and each other.
Do we want to continue our friendship, this friends-and-a-bit-more-status?
Does our relationship support or hinder our respective callings?
What concerns might we have? I mentioned mine, because he wanted to know.
We're not really in love, but there's something to explore here.
It's a safe space, this friendship of ours, and I think we truly want what's best for the other person.
It's easy to be ourselves around each other--but is the attraction enough to last when we move away?
Jesus, these are questions we've asked each other--and that we invite you in to help us answer.
I don't think either of us want to love another person more than we love you. But if loving you means loving him, then I trust that time will let me know.
In the meantime, there's more hanging out to be had--and a short-but-hopefully-sweet summer to cherish.
~Natasha
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