Jesus, I don't know how to even begin processing what happened in Orlando. Every day I read others' posts on Facebook, and I just feel more numb and more helpless. It makes me want to hide from humanity altogether.
Lord, thank you for providing employment so quickly after graduation! I don't think I'm quite cool enough to live in Boston, but I think I can rise to the occasion. If you've provided me with a job, I trust that you'll also provide me with housing.
Holy Spirit, guide me in the way I should go. There is a calling beyond employment, and a ministry beyond vocation. As well, a kind-eyed friend whom you've placed in my life for this season...
St. Petersburg, Natasha is thankful she got to visit you. What a magical place.
Finland, you were a bit too chic for me, but I wish you all the best.
Tallin, you charmed my heart and I'll remember you fondly.
Bethesda House, it's been real. Cheers to the handsome roommate who never did his chores but got away with it anyway. To the liaison who also disliked chores and always left the lights on. To the boys who learned how to cook and were more willing than the rest to do chores. And to Pastor Tim, who made it all happen and who I've come to like quite a lot.
To YDS, it's been real as well. I gave you 200%, and I'm ready to move on. Thanks for letting me come study for free, and good luck--you'll need it!
To the ISM, you aren't as amazing as you think, but I'm grateful for the chance to transfer in during my final year and have expenses paid for. Thank you for taking me to the Baltics.
To my girlfriends who both crave and give unconditional love and care, that's real. Men are poor substitutes for love, and love can be found in so many other places and ways. I hope you always know how worth it you are, and how not worth the time most relationships with men are.
To my guy friends, I love you all. Polyamory is a thing, but in my world it's a celibate thing. I will always love the men in my life, even though they are far from perfect.
To my queer friends, you understand love and humanity in a way that I want to. I celebrate you, and I can't even imagine what something like Orlando must feel like.
To the U.S.--I didn't miss you at all when I was abroad. You're a fucking mess, and Lord have mercy on us all!
To New Haven--I did miss you when I was away. I can't wait to make love to you for one month before I leave you.
To my church home in New Haven--it's been good. I'm ready to leave, but I'll always owe a tremendous amount of spiritual growth to your grounding and consistent presence in my life over the last 2 years.
To my home group--you've been family. I'll miss you, and I truly wish you all the best.
Love,
Natasha
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