Ministry

Ever since last spring, I have been praying for a ministry to call my own.  Given by God, of course, but specific to my shape.

Something interesting has happened.  I can't quite describe the process, but I can say that in the last few years, I have gained a kind of confidence that has allowed me to speak truth to White America not as the Other, but as Another.

I have agonized over the fact that many of my friends are white Christians, and that I've been in a relationship with a white male.  Does this make me a sellout?

But I've recognized long ago that, due to my upbringing, I just don't resonate with much of the Asian American experience.  I will always bear my heritage very proudly, but being closely linked to my family lineage and first language does not mean that I can relate with peers who were born here like me.

There is, however, a sort of code-switching at which I've become adept--that of relating with white Christians.  In Trump's America, it can be easy to want to tear down whiteness, but perhaps there is a way in which I can enter into certain spheres of its domain and subvert it from the inside out.  In part, being an Asian female gives me a type of positive liminality and quiet agency.  Rather than use it to climb, why not use it to advocate?