I went to Divinity School after seeing many close friends be profoundly hurt by the church in my 20s--and to become a hospice chaplain, because no one had ever said I could be a pastor. I have heard and been held back by (some version of) every quote mentioned in this article (http://churchleaders.com/news/302572-hashtag-thingsonlychristianwomenhear-blowing-twitter-pointing-misogyny-church.html), but somehow I still desired to follow Jesus in the fullness of who I was wired to be. Stepping out in this kind of freedom has cost me certain Christian communities and even potential marriage partners, but it is worth it and has brought unspeakable happiness even in the midst of angst and sorrow. May the Spirit move in our hearts and shake things up in church culture during this season leading up to Pentecost!
在美國保守教會圈子，“女強人”很難當“好基督徒”。二十三歲拿到第一個碩士時，大人都說，“別在念下去，要不然嫁不出去“。還好我有機會去耶魯神學院，聽到一些不一樣的想法，找到自己的快樂。
...and some private:
Dear R,
I can't believe it's already/only been a month since I left Nairobi!
I may not have processed aloud with you while I was there, but Kenya really healed my heart in many ways. It was the landscape of the safari trip and the warm water of the coast that did it...and spending time with you!
Lent is over, Easter has come, and Pentecost is still to come. I feel things stirring, after a long and pretty dreadful season of waiting.
So J got the job at the church in Massachusetts and will begin on May 8th. This is after us being in different places since July!
We are going to try things again. No hard feelings if it doesn't work out, but we do want to work through some differences to see if we can indeed partner in life.
Meanwhile, I had my first non-awkward conversation at work yesterday with the Economics teacher, PW, who I think has been interested in me since I started at the job, and it caused me to think about how I do think I am rather polyamorous and reluctant to commit to only one person, but also that maybe I also just have a big capacity to relate to human beings of the opposite gender. Funny, now that I'm in a more committed friendship with one person, I'm less nervous to interact with another.
I've aired several grievances with G-d lately, too. It's just so frustrating to be at this stage of life, to have many things to be grateful for, but also to have had several disappointments.
I miss having you around to have these chats with, but I'm soooooooo glad we had such a memorable time together.
Please keep me posted on your CA plans for July, and do let me know how much I should give you via PayPal =)
Much love,
N
In case the article link to Church Leaders one day expires (http://churchleaders.com/news/302572-hashtag-thingsonlychristianwomenhear-blowing-twitter-pointing-misogyny-church.html):
The Hashtag #ThingsOnlyChristianWomenHear Is Blowing Up Twitter and Pointing Out Misogyny in the Church
On Tuesday, April 18, 2017, popular Christian author and “Jesus feminist” Sarah Bessey started a conversation on Twitter that has blown up into a trending topic and heated discussion. The hashtag linking it all together is #ThingsOnlyChristianWomenHear, and the experiences women are relating are heartbreaking, and sadly point to a divisive rift in the church.
Bessey is known for pointing out what she believes are misogynist practices in the church. An egalitarian and feminist, Bessey pulls no punches in her writing. In her book Jesus Feminist, she writes: “I look forward to the day when women with leadership and insight, gifts and talents, callings and prophetic leanings are called out and celebrated as Deborah, instead of silenced as Jezebel.”
While you may not agree with her egalitarian stance or her approach to interpreting Scripture, the conversation that Bessey has sparked on Twitter cannot be ignored by the broader church. In fact, the ripple effect of the conversation has already reached Huffington Post, and, unsurprisingly, stirred up more conversation in the broader culture.
As a way of summary, here are the main topics that are being addressed with this hashtag:
Women in Leadership
The bulk of the comments center on people’s disagreement with the traditional position of the western church to exclude women from leadership. People are commenting on the euphemisms churches use when they allow a woman to preach or teach, but call it something else so as not to label her as a leader or preacher.
“You speak five languages and have a doctoral degree? Children's ministry is your calling!”#ThingsOnlyChristianWomenHear
Women can't be in leadership positions. You should marry a guy who feels called to that position and help him.#ThingsOnlyChristianWomenHear
"You can't serve communion, but you are expected to serve at the potluck later" #ThingsOnlyChristianWomenHear
"If you preach, I wil get up and walk out."#ThingsOnlyChristianWomenHear
@sarahbessey "You can't be a preacher, but you can be a missionary" #ThingsOnlyChristianWomenHear [*Sigh]
Sexuality
We shouldn’t be surprised sexuality has come up. If there’s one thing that the church has tried to codify and agree on, it’s what teaching we should offer young people regarding sexuality. Here again are the frustrations women are feeling over this topic.
There's no sin so big that God can't redeem it.
Except your purity.
Give that up and you're screwed.#ThingsOnlyChristianWomenHear
Youth camp, in gender groups: Guys: let's talk about your sexuality. Girls: let's talk about guys' sexuality.#ThingsOnlyChristianWomenHear
"Your purity is the greatest gift you have to give" So not my brains, ambition, or any other great qualities?#ThingsOnlyChristianWomenHear
"Men will look at you and be tempted and sin." We say this to 12 year old girls. I was ashamed until my 20s.#ThingsOnlyChristianWomenHear
Stop looking at me funny when I compare the way churches treat women to rape culture. #ThingsOnlyChristianWomenHear
YALL "We dont condone RAPE! Of course not!
ALSO YALL: Women dress modestly so you dont tempt your brothers.#ThingsOnlyChristianWomenHear
The Hypocrisy of Gender Roles
Gender roles has become akin to a curse word in the church, along with the phrase “biblical manhood and womanhood.” It’s no secret we have disagreements and problems with this topic. Some of these are so painful to hear…
When you heard many sermons on how women submit to husbands but 0 on how husbands lay down their life for wife#ThingsOnlyChristianWomenHear
"Only men are strong enough to lead."
"Men just aren't strong enough to resist your above-mid-thigh shorts." #ThingsOnlyChristianWomenHear
"If we use feminine pronouns for God, it will isolate & exclude the men." #ThingsOnlyChristianWomenHear
Dress modestly because men are too weak. Also men are in charge of you because they are spiritually superior#ThingsOnlyChristianWomenHear
"You're a Christian feminist? Good luck finding a husband!" *cackles*#ThingsOnlyChristianWomenHear
And, finally, here is a poignant tweet from a young person to show us why church leaders should tune into this conversation:
#ThingsOnlyChristianWomenHear Youth pastors and head pastors want to know why young people are leaving the church at 18. THIS is why. Listen
Here’s the bottom line: Our society and culture is changing rapidly. Young people are being taught that they (boys and girls, equally) can do anything they want. So when they come to church and experience these countercultural views toward women, they don’t understand. A little girl raised in today’s culture is eventually going to start asking: Why does my teacher at school tell me I can be the next President of the United States, while my teacher in Sunday school says the only teaching I can do at church is teach children or a room full of women. Whether your church holds to this particular standard or not is beside the point. This is the perception of the culture toward the broader church.
It’s not going to be easy, but your church needs to have a response to these statements. Instead of ignoring the conversation, it will be better for us to address it. Whether your church is complementarian or egalitarian or falls somewhere in the middle, you can’t afford to be silent on this one.
Leaders, it is time that we lead and steward what God has given us better. Silencing and ignoring is not leadership. Loving, teaching and addressing concerns is leading like Jesus led.
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