Beyond "How are You?"

I had a great Friday yesterday.  In the morning, I had lunch with my roommate on a cute little street named Orange.  This was the first time we'd hung out outside of making trips to the grocery store and WalMart.  In the afternoon, I played soccer with the Divinity School intramural team.  And in the evening, I attended a (student-priced $5) concert of Mahler's Resurrection Symphony along with much of the rest of the Yale community.  After the concert, I went out for pizza with a bunch of friends.  What a great way to end the week!

The best part of the night, though, took place on my trek back to the apartment after pizza.  A friend and I were talking about asking good questions of people, questions that go beyond the usual greeting. Good questions take thought on both the part of the asker and the answerer.  For example:  "What was the most stretching part of your week?" can add so much to a conversation than, "How are you?"

When in transition in a new place, one meets tons of new people and has to answer many of the same questions over and over again.  For me, this means telling people where I'm from (Los Angeles), what I did before Divinity school (worked for almost 5 years), and what degree program I'm (MAR Comprehensive).  I ask the same questions of those I meet, and that establishes a baseline for further communication.

A month in to my time at Yale, I'm starting to distinguish between acquaintances and friends, between those I just say hi to at school and those I make time for to hang out with on weekends.  Friendships take intentionality, so yesterday's conversation about asking meaningful questions was a great reminder for how to make my interactions with friends more sincere.

The friend with whom I had the conversation about asking good questions is one of the most sincere people I've met here at YDS.  In an environment where people are brilliant, quick-witted, passionate, and proactive, something as simple as sincerity is a sigh of relief that allows for restful (yet purposeful) interaction in the midst of a packed student life.

May I grow in my sincerity towards others, and may I practice the good habit of asking thoughtful questions!